Gesundheit

What I'm watching: GANTZ

Ugh!! Yeah, so I thought I had all the episodes of this anime series, but nope. Still missing a disk from NetFlix. The setup is that a bunch of idiots and girls with enormous breasts, under the control of an alien, are saved from zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz- oops, sorry, just realized that no one cares. Short version: Idiots and girls with sexy chronic lower-back pain have to kill weird aliens within a time-limit set by an alien jerk. They get suits that make them tough and strong and space guns that make things explode in the traditional bulgy anime manner. So, the case to recommend:

1. Exploding heads and other body parts. Because sometimes watching parts of people and aliens exploding bloodily is a good thing, something that the makers of The Polar Express really should have taken into consideration. Anime (especially from the 80s) has traditionally taught us that anything--anything--can and frequently will explode for the slightest of reasons, and it's nice to see a modern anime that reminds us of this.
2. Anyone can die at any moment, a strong lesson in mortality that certain slasher flicks from the 1980s taught us. This particular lesson can leave emotional scars, and popular culture has taught us that hot women find scars to be sexy. Win-win!
3. Breasts in skin-tight suits. These are conveniently attached to women.
4. The opening credits song, "Super Shooter." (Or, "SUPER SHOOTER." I'm unsure.) Featuring the totallyfriggin'awesomecool lyrics:
Big shooter iki isoide blazing
Beat you up kiri hiraite break
Shot shooter iki isoida crazy
Shoujun au shikin kyori de break
*sniff* Beautiful. (Heh. Wacky Internet. The full version is extremely irritating!)

The case against:
1. I'm guessing it was supposed to be a 13-episode series and not a 26-episode one. Why would I think that? Okay, there's an alien that just made one of your comrades come down with a mild case of exploding and you have a gun in your hand, do you: (a) Shoot the damn thing, (b) run away, or (c) spend 10 minutes pointing your gun at it while fearfully considering the finer points of flower arranging (or whatever it is they're doing). There are three "hunts" the characters are forced to participate in up to episode 23, where they have to kill all the aliens in a set amount of time (or, presumably, they die), but the Japanese have no idea of how to handle these situations. They don't have a gun culture, so I think it just flummoxes them. In America, under the same circumstances, this series would be around 3 episodes long, maybe 2 if it was set in the Texas. Americans: Shoot first, ask questions later. Japanese: Ask questions first, confuse gaijin second, blow up Tokyo Tower third, menace underage girls with tentacles fourth... ... shoot the monster five hundred and ninty fifth. Driving me nuts. Last night I had this conversation with my TV:
Me: For fuck's sake, shoot it! I haven't seen any heads explode for 15 minutes!
TV: "Hmmmmm... perhaps we should shoot it?"
Me: Why you- Do something!
TV: "Hey, what's that over there? It looks like an open ramen stand!"
Me: Die! DIE DIE DIE

At this point, I'm just coasting to the end of the series.