The Taking of University Street One Two Three

(Because no one will get the reference)

So every once in a while a helicopter flies around the university campus, whether for aerial photos or video footage... or maybe, just maybe, because someone is casing the joint. It's entirely possible that right now, that small helicopter holds inside the brilliant mastermind behind all the daring university thefts of the last year we've read so much about. Or, inside that noisy cocoon, agents of some shadowy organization are stroking their pencil-thin mustaches and chortling (yes, they're French) at what horrible deeds they're about to perform. Another possibility? Crack team of para-ninja-terrorists.

But, alas, the university--as it always does when the Black Helicopters (okay, "Tiny Red Chopper" in this case) hover overhead--has sent us all an e-mail that everything is well, couldn't be better, not to be alarmed, not to call in the feds. While our airspace has been violated, it's purely consensual. They actually have really nice smiles, and, anyway, the university fathers approve.

(But if something goes down, I'm so going to shove this e-mail in their faces.)