Once More, With Feeling
If you gave a monkey a bottle of rum, made him drink it, and then made him very angry, he would become an unstoppable martial artist.
Similarly, if you give me a bottle of vodka and encourage me to drink it all, then explain to me that my computer has exploded, my mother was coming to stay with me for two weeks, and all my DVDs have been confiscated by the government, I would become a black hole of irritation and destroy the solar system in a flash of bitter and itchy doom.
This proves, once and for all, that I have more raw potential for destruction than a monkey.
Be glad that life is not as hard on me as I like to pretend it is.
Similarly, if you give me a bottle of vodka and encourage me to drink it all, then explain to me that my computer has exploded, my mother was coming to stay with me for two weeks, and all my DVDs have been confiscated by the government, I would become a black hole of irritation and destroy the solar system in a flash of bitter and itchy doom.
This proves, once and for all, that I have more raw potential for destruction than a monkey.
Be glad that life is not as hard on me as I like to pretend it is.
posted by Greg at 10:56 AM
4 Comments:
Does it depend on what kind of vodka? Can you drink it cold, or with mixers? Sure, anyone can be the pure essence of all dark, sucking misery in the universe after drinking a bottle of warm Cossack vodka, but it takes a real son of a bitch to turn into the rotten core of all that is after drinking perfectly made, Belvidere martinis.
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