Other ADT Security Bot Possibilities
While ol' Ed (see post below) would be pretty friggin' cool to have out in the front yard, it did have both a charming (when directed at others) and annoying (when directed at its owner) tendency to be a bit trigger-happy. So here are a few other possibilities:
Robocop
Pros: Can hold conversations, is cheap to feed, and mothers like him. Can probably fix your car and deliver clever one-liners the second he's done changing your oil.
Cons: Holds conversations in a creepy mono-tone voice, his sense of humor sucks, and will freak out girlfriends when they stumble into the bathroom and he's in there with his visor off. Will probably arrest you at some point.
Dalek
Pros: Efficient, ruthless, can easily take care of clogged toilets. Can probably do the vacuuming, too.
Cons: Noisy with a very limited vocabulary. The extremely high geek factor would result in having to stack nerd bodies in the garage like cordwood. Couldn't catch people in my basement or in my attic space. Would probably steal girlfriends (really, though, just to look at the design of it, a dalek looks like the perfect female companion).
Chopping Mall-Bots
Pros: Silent, deadly killers. Clever and amusing deaths. Good conversation pieces.
Cons: Clever and amusing deaths that I'd have to clean up. Tendency to kill anything young and nubile. Would always be wandering away to local malls.
Eva Unit-01
Pros: House would be very safe. Best status symbol ever and, to rub it in, could order it to destroy every minivan and Corvette it sees.
Cons: $500,000 electric bills. Tendency to eat the neighbor's massive sentient entities when it gets hungry--which wouldn't be so bad except that it's a noisy chewer. At 200 feet high, I'd have to deal with a lot of people pointing at it and milling. I hate milling. After around the 22nd burglar it caught, Misreall would get shot, EM would turn out to be an evil clone, and I'd be wandering around saying, "Wha'?" every 2 minutes until the world exploded.
Robbie the Robot
Pros: None
Cons: Hahahaha, c'mon. The only bright spot would be shooting it through the head the first time it woke me up at 3am flailing around because it heard a train outside, and even then I'd have to figure out a way to drag it out to the curb.
Robocop
Pros: Can hold conversations, is cheap to feed, and mothers like him. Can probably fix your car and deliver clever one-liners the second he's done changing your oil.
Cons: Holds conversations in a creepy mono-tone voice, his sense of humor sucks, and will freak out girlfriends when they stumble into the bathroom and he's in there with his visor off. Will probably arrest you at some point.
DalekPros: Efficient, ruthless, can easily take care of clogged toilets. Can probably do the vacuuming, too.
Cons: Noisy with a very limited vocabulary. The extremely high geek factor would result in having to stack nerd bodies in the garage like cordwood. Couldn't catch people in my basement or in my attic space. Would probably steal girlfriends (really, though, just to look at the design of it, a dalek looks like the perfect female companion).
Chopping Mall-BotsPros: Silent, deadly killers. Clever and amusing deaths. Good conversation pieces.
Cons: Clever and amusing deaths that I'd have to clean up. Tendency to kill anything young and nubile. Would always be wandering away to local malls.
Eva Unit-01Pros: House would be very safe. Best status symbol ever and, to rub it in, could order it to destroy every minivan and Corvette it sees.
Cons: $500,000 electric bills. Tendency to eat the neighbor's massive sentient entities when it gets hungry--which wouldn't be so bad except that it's a noisy chewer. At 200 feet high, I'd have to deal with a lot of people pointing at it and milling. I hate milling. After around the 22nd burglar it caught, Misreall would get shot, EM would turn out to be an evil clone, and I'd be wandering around saying, "Wha'?" every 2 minutes until the world exploded.
Robbie the RobotPros: None
Cons: Hahahaha, c'mon. The only bright spot would be shooting it through the head the first time it woke me up at 3am flailing around because it heard a train outside, and even then I'd have to figure out a way to drag it out to the curb.
posted by Greg at 8:12 AM
9 Comments:
Re: Daleks-
"Couldn't catch people in my basement or in my attic space. "
Au contrarie-the new daleks can levitate, so stairs are no longer the best defense.
Yeah, I would be one of the ones stacked in the garage.
Oh, and how did I end up being Oska?
Geez.
Asuka? Actually, didn't most of the women get shot?
Was thinking you were the brainy chick in charge of the MAGI, whacked by Shinji's dad. Glasses, don't you know.
In any case, Giant Robots just wouldn't make good home security. Robots in general wouldn't, apparently, what with their always going haywire and killing/wanting to have sex with everything.
Perhaps if we shrunk Godzilla, he'd work out. What could possibly go wrong?!
PS- Now that Rosanne and I are going to marry, why isn't she around to join in our internet geekery?
And, anyway, Chris ended up being Rei, more or less, which probably makes me Shinji. Soquitcherbitchin.
I can't remember the brainy chick with the glasses. The only one I can remember is the blonde with the mother issues.
That's the one. One of the 3 MAGI used her mom as the basis of its AI.
She gets shot by Shinj's dad after unsuccessfully trying to sabotage the MAGI (mom overrules her). The Major chick gets killed/shot by the invading military teams while getting Shinji to safety. Asuka gets speared and eaten by the mass-produced military angels--still one of the coolest fights ever--though she... gets better? Whatever!
I didn't post this comment and you can't prove a thing.
anime geeks. almost as bad as Trekkies.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Hi! Just want to say what a nice site. Bye, see you soon.
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