Puppies with Straight-Razors

Long, hard rains. Flavored teas and coffees. Artificial sweetener ("I will show you fear in a handful of Equal"). Artificial flavors (esp. strawberry, but not banana). Leaving the refrigerator door open--not long enough for everything to spoil, but long enough for me to eye everything I eat out of it afterward with a small amount of dread. Town sirens going off, and it's not the first Tuesday of the month. Small children talking to me, no parent in sight. Misburned DVDs/CDs. Running out of milk, cigarettes, or booze. Drinking milk straight. Forgetting, again, perhaps for the last time. Contracting a horrible disease not from any clearly bad habit, but from something innocuous, like the fumes from my Sharpie at work. Beautiful women who are now 15 years younger than I. My boss. Mysterious cracks. Ennui. The death of "interesting." Forgetting how to relax. Uncomfortable chairs. Fraying seams. In myself: Suspicious behavior. In others: Ulterior motives. Speaking in the third-person. Too many things merely living up to expectations, and not surpassing them.