That is to say, it didn't come as a complete surprise

So yesterday, while moving past an intersection and through a quarter-open driver's-side window, my penis ejected itself from my body. There had been the faintest stirrings down there as presumably (and after what must have been many weeks of covert practice) it chinned itself over the top of my underwear and undid the zipper, and made its leap to freedom. If "resigned glee" is an actual emotion, I believe this is the sound it made as it escaped.

Oh, sure, I was surprised, but it was the kind of surprise one feels when reaching out for a cat that others have warned you is mean. Part of you says, "Aw, it's so cute, it wouldn't hurt me" while a larger but helpless part says, "God, you're an idiot," and then the cat claws through your wrist. Or the numb surprise you feel when the world decides to suddenly work as advertised.

Part of me demanded that I stop the car and give chase, but then I was back home looking in the refrigerator. It hadn't gone through that window by accident, after all, and if it could find a new home that would make it happy then who was I to try and stop it?

But this morning I feel like I've lost my best friend. Though I don't have any recent photos, I suppose I should at least make a token effort and put up some posters after work.